Becoming (in)visible: On mental health, help-seeking and missing connections

International evidence suggests that gay men report elevated rates of mental health problems. Despite the increased risk, little is known about their help-seeking behaviour. This chapter is a performative autoethnography on the theme of mental health difficulties and the personal, social, and cultural barriers to accessing support. Using photography and an autobiographical narrative format, Willem walks the reader through an extended period of emotional distress. He draws attention to my experiences of international students in higher education settings and those difficulties experienced by gay men more generally. Willem highlights the affective nature of help-seeking relations, illustrating how emotions such as shame and sociocultural norms can impact this process. This chapter also demonstrates the importance of social resources in maintaining a sense of ontological security and mental wellbeing. It’s a story of hegemonic masculinity and the difficulties some gay men face in articulating their distress. It’s the beginnings of a much longer story Willem hopes to tell one day.